Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- insults
- You’re the reason the middle finger exists.
- You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
- If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
- You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
- Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
- You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.
- Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.
- I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
- Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
- Your face makes onions cry.
- It’s impossible to underestimate you.
- Your teeth are so bad you could eat an apple through a fence.
- I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
- I’m not a nerd, I’m just smarter than you.
- Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
- Your face is just fine but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality.
- You bring everyone so much joy, when you leave the room.
- I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
- You are the human version of period cramps.
- If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
- You are like a cloud. When you disappear it’s a beautiful day.
- I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
- If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
- It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than proving it by typing in chat.
- Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
- The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
- I’m jealous of people that don’t know you!
- If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
- You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
- Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing.
- Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
- Some babies were dropped on their heads but you were clearly thrown at a wall.
- They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
- The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.
- You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
- Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission.
- How old are you? - Wait I shouldn't ask, you can't count that high.
- Have you been shopping lately? They're selling lives, you should go get one.
- You're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you.
- Of course I talk like an idiot, how else would you understand me?
- I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
- If you really spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.
- Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go.
- So a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
- Keep typing, someday you'll say something intelligent!
- How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
- Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one.
- We can always tell when you are lying. Your are typing.
- Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking… Nerf herder!— Princess Leia, The Empire Strikes Back
- You know, you are a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain. — The Doctor, Doctor Who
- You’re about as much use as a condom machine in the Vatican. — Rimmer, Red Dwarf
- I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.
- — Westley (The Dread Pirate Roberts), The Princess Bride
- I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
- — French Guard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
- You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity. — Buzz Light Year, Toy Story
- Your heart is full of unwashed socks. Your soul is full of gunk …The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, “Stink, stank, stunk! — The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
- He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends. — Oscar Wilde
- Well, I’ll tell you something that should be of vital interest to you. That you, sir, are a NITWIT! — The Doctor, Doctor ho
- Your brain’s so minute, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn’t be enough to cover a small water biscuit. — Black Adder, Black Adder
- I’m trying to thank you, you pointed-eared hobgoblin! — Dr. Leonard McCoy, Star Trek
- Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. — Oscar Wilde
- You are the most obnoxious, trumped-up, farty little smeghead it has ever been my misfortune to encounter! — Kryten, Red Dwarf
- You would bore the leggings off a village idiot. — Black Adder, Black Adder
- Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert!
- — Monty Python
- You are a fart factory, slug-slimed sack of rat guts in cat vomit. A cheesy scab picked pimple squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side. — Rufio, Hook
- I desire that we be better strangers. — William Shakespeare, As You Like It
- It gives me a headache just trying to think down to your level. — Marvin The Paranoid Android, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
- You are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence. — Evil, Time Bandits
- You’re not a complete idiot… some parts are missing.
- Listen, three eyes, don’t you try to outweird me. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
- — Zaphod Beeblebrox, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
- Bubble-headed booby. — Dr Zachary Smith, Lost in Space
- You are very fat and stupid and persistently wear a ridiculous hat which you should be ashamed of.
- — The Great Zaganza, The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul
- They have a plentiful lack of wit. — Hamlet, Hamlet
- Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing. — Zoe, Firefly
- Allow me to congratulate you, sir. You have the most totally closed mind I have ever met. — The Doctor, Doctor Who
- You’re like a trained ape, only without the training. — Simon, Firefly
- You’re so dense, light bends around you.
- Smeg head. — Lister, Red Dwarf
- You’re so stupid, you think a thesaurus is a monster from Jurassic Park.
- Freaking idiot. – Napolean, Napolean Dynomite
- Copernicus just called: You’re not the center of the universe.
- You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caliginous junk! — The Wizard, The Wizard of Oz
- He’s about as effective as a cat-flap in an elephant house. — Black Adder, Black Adder
- Look, we all have something to bring to this discussion. But I think from now on the thing you should bring is silence. — Arnold Rimmer, Red Dwarf
- You are a complete tool but not half as useful.
- If you were any more inbred you'd be a sandwich.
- You're so ugly your portraits hang themselves.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment