The topic of quantum reference frames (QRFs) has attracted a great deal of attention in the recent literature. Potentially, the correct description of such frames is important for both the technological applications of quantum mechanics and for its foundations, including the search for a future theory of quantum gravity. In this letter, we point out potential inconsistencies in the mainstream approach to this subject and propose an alternative definition that avoids these problems. Crucially, we reject the notion that transformations between QRFs can be represented by unitary operators and explain the clear physical reasons for this. An experimental protocol, capable of empirically distinguishing between competing definitions of the term, is also proposed. The implications of the new model, for uncertainty relations, spacetime symmetries, gauge symmetries, the quantisation of gravity, and other foundational issues are discussed, and possible directions for future work in this field are considered.